The Constant Companion and I are familiar with several countries which are supposedly communist, or previously communist…In some of them you’ll frequently find yourself ankle-deep in begging children…But during three weeks here in Cuba, we haven’t seen a single child begging.
The Restaurant at the End of the World
It’s clear the hotel has put a lot of effort into an offering which no one wants, and the restaurant can’t possibly deliver. The waiters’ manners are impeccable, their grooming immaculate. One can only hope they don’t realise just how embarrassing and unsuccessful their menu is…
The Servant Problem
..in this part of the world, most people’s monthly pay amounts to what we spent on dinner last night, and upward mobility isn’t even a concept. If you’re born into an affluent and privileged family you can assume you’ll get a good education, and eventually a good job (which may or may not involve any actual work).
And if not, not.
Who’s in the Zoo?
Geoffrey Bawa was a genius. But even geniuses make mistakes…and Geoffrey overlooked the monkeys. These monkeys have no fear of people. Also, they quite like our stuff. If you venture outside, particularly onto the roof garden, they may leap onto you from behind just to see if they can shake something loose.
Breakfast of Champions (or, When it’s Way Too Early for the “C” Word)
For readers who don’t speak Spanish: coño has exactly the same meaning as a certain four-letter English word which also begins with “c”.
No Laughing Matter
…the world is full of tourists who blunder along, texting in cathedrals, snapping masterpieces on their phones, and giggling in graveyards. We wonder why they travel…and wish they wouldn’t.
The Search for Authenticity
How do you tell the good, authentic local restaurants from the tourist traps? It’s not always easy…but first, be sure authenticity is what you’re really after. Give yourself a break: there are times when even the most experienced traveller just needs comfort food — a sandwich, a burger, a bowl of soup. And frankly, there are places where the local food is just plain awful.
The Village on Runway Two
The driver said that his kids simply couldn’t grasp what life had been like when he was young. “My village,” he said, “was where Changi Airport is now. Right on Runway Two.”
Size Matters
In the event of an emergency, the only thing the cabin staff could possibly have done was to heave her out of her seat and roll her down the aisle to clear the way for the other passengers…
Nouveau Western
Is there such a thing as a stupid house? That’s probably unfair to bricks and mortar — but there are certainly houses built by stupid people. And people who choose to live in them for some very stupid reasons.
Do Forget to Flush
The automatic flush no doubt seemed like a good idea at the time. What no one seems to have thought of is that more technology inevitably means more failed technology.
Star Crazy
…someone had the brilliant idea of promoting Heron as a 5-star resort. There have probably been worse ideas in the history of the world (invading Iraq; investing with Bernie Madoff) but this one was right up there.