THE ABOMINABLE TOURIST

…the world is full of tourists who blunder along, texting in cathedrals, snapping masterpieces on their phones, and giggling in graveyards. We wonder why they travel…and wish they wouldn’t.

In the event of an emergency, the only thing the cabin staff could possibly have done was to heave her out of her seat and roll her down the aisle to clear the way for the other passengers…

Two utterly terrified young tourists, who were innocent bystanders, could have been badly injured — or worse – for the sake of less than a dollar.

OK — snap quiz, everybody.
Who wrote Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony?
Who is buried in Shakespeare’s Tomb?
Why is it called carry-on luggage?
If you got (3) wrong, I believe we’ve met. Frequently.

…it was painfully clear that our new guests (Canadian, as it happened) had spent a great deal of money flying halfway around the planet to a destination they knew absolutely nothing about. What did they think they were going to find?